GET OFF OUR ISLAND

The Guido is an entirely American phenomena, with its epicenter in the New York/ New Jersey metropolitan area. Most individuals become Guidos in an attempt to achieve an identity- in fact any identity. The Guido is highly recognizable by his attention to muscular development, status symbols, and regional dialect.

Their shortcomings include a tendency toward alcoholism, legal problems (usually related to assault, reckless driving, noise violations), and an inability to compete in legitimate business. Fortunately for them, they usually live an exciting, care-free existence. They are easily satiated by tacky mall attire, drunken nights with similar-minded women, and nightclubbing. In the end, although they maintain a unique sense of identity and pride, their superficial lives often leave them empty. The tolls of excessive grooming products, STDs, and alcohol abuse age these specimens quite poorly. The time spent in fitness clubs is usually far offset by their lifestyle choices.